Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Problem With Lactaid

Over the years, I've had hundreds of people ask me why, when encountering food that has too much dairy for my lactose intolerant stomach to handle, I don't just take a Lactaid tablet and soldier on.

If only lactose intolerance was so easy.

There was a time when I used Lactaid tablets frequently and carried around a tube of chewable Lactaid pills in my purse, but I don't bother anymore.  Lactaid Pills were like a bad boyfriend who treated me horribly one night and wonderfully the next.  It took me a few years of lactose intolerant-focused abuse before I matured enough to dump those Lactaid Pills and forced myself to stick to a dairy-free diet instead.

Lactaid tablets are not the Knight in Shining Armor that they are advertised to be, and I learned the hard way that they don't always work (for me, I should add).  Part of the problem was the packaging which used to read "chew one or two tablets before eating dairy food." (I'm paraphrasing, of course.)  I tried taking one Lactaid tablet and had no success eating the ice cream cone.  The next time, I tried two tablets with only slightly better results.  I think my lactose intolerance is worse than the two tablet maximum dictated by the Lactaid package.  It became obvious very quickly that two Lactaid tablets only worked fifty-percent of the time and the fifty-percent of time when they DIDN'T work was so agonizingly bad that they weren't worth the successful times.

So I don't bother with Lactaid anymore.  For the same reason I gave up chocolate mousse and bakery-made butter-cream frosting, I gave up trying to eat ice cream cones by chewing a Lactaid tablet before I began.  I am a firm believer in the old adage "Fool me once, shame on you;  Fool me twice, shame on me."  And besides, there's dairy-free ice-"cream" now.  So, HA! Lactaid.  I am in a new, kinder, gentler, lactose-free relationship and I'm pretty sure it's going to last for the long haul!

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